Well, here’s a question right back at you: Do you think you’re praying “enough” or “well enough”?
Right at the core of religious life is a relationship, and it’s with Someone whose Hand you can hold all day and whose Thoughts are always about you.
You can’t be happy in the long run if you neglect that relationship no matter what your vocation is, but especially if you know in the depth of your heart that Jesus has singled you out for a special exclusive mind-bogglingly breathtaking love.
So if you’re praying well, it won’t be hard for you to grasp the awesomeness of the call to religious life, but if you’re not, it’ll be a lot easier for the price tag to come back into focus instead of the awesomeness you get. Don’t forget…
Peter said to him in reply, “We have given up everything and followed you. What will there be for us?” Jesus said to them, “Amen, I say to you that you who have followed me, in the new age, when the Son of Man is seated on his throne of glory, will yourselves sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And everyone who has given up houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands for the sake of my name will receive a hundred times more, and will inherit eternal life.
— Matthew 19:27-29
May God bless you abundantly!
- Father Shane
That’s the original basic meaning of the word “discernment”: discovering the origin of emotions and thoughts in us. They can arise from God, from the enemy, or from our own (not always perfect) desires.
It’s 100% normal that you start to have plenty of mixed emotions as the date for application draws near. Almost invariably, both the enemy and our own fears start to gnaw at our resolution. If you’ve had enough time to think this over already (if you’re not acting on impulse), the usual advice will be to ignore the emotional chaos right now, fill out your application, and discover in the postulancy/candidacy/novitiate process what the origin of all that chaos is and what God is really calling you to.
So, sorry if I’m bursting your bubble, but your discernment regarding the origin of that feeling of being called… is just beginning!
May God bless you abundantly!
- Father Shane
Amazing! Well, we’ll see where Our Lord leads you in the goodness of his Plan.
I can guarantee that, so long as you continue to go out with your girlfriend and discern at the same time, you’ll continue to be pulled in two directions at once. It’s just the way the heart works. Are you willing to ask her for some “time off” in order to clear your mind and your heart of affections that can make God’s will seem fuzzy and out of focus? I know that sounds very tough and even unfair to her, but dating means discerning more than possessing: if she really wants what’s best for you, this will be painful for her for now, but she’ll be able to understand and let go.
Regarding your family, that’s a huge cross, definitely. I would love to put you in touch with a seminarian I know who is studying in Rome and is very close to ordination who went through a very similar situation. I’ll bet his experience would benefit you a lot. If you want to message me privately (non-anonymously), I can send you his email…
Definitely you might also benefit from this article about some other things you’ll want to be doing.
May God bless you abundantly as you seek his Will!
- Father Shane
You know how they say the shortest questions have the longest answers? Well, this one sure proves that!
Here’s an article that goes into all the basics that might help you out a lot… may God bless you abundantly in your quest to discover where he wants you to serve him and his Church!
- Father Shane
It’s normal!
It’s not a problem that you love her; actually, if you’re called to be a priest, you’re called to love everybody. It’s just a matter of putting it in perspective.
It’s also a matter of getting used to that constant training to not let the enemies of your soul use your desires as temptations that become leverage against you and your calling. In particular, their strategy will work against your impressions of how you’re “doing” in your love for God… that a momentary memory flash somehow ruined your relationship with God for the day. Hardly! Just use the moment to recommit and say, “Lord, I love you so much, I obeyed when you asked me to leave behind someone so beautiful! Bless her, make her happy, and help me to love and serve you and all your people as you desire!”
God bless you!
- Father Shane
Don’t worry! Everyone’s story is very different. Mine makes for easy telling. Some make for short telling. Others… are really long.
If you trust the Bible at all, then you can be sure that God definitely hasn’t forgotten about you, and that there isn’t anybody else on earth that he cares about more than he cares about you. And yes he’s guiding you, but perhaps in unexpected ways right now.
For example, “feeling” that you’re on the right path might happen. Or it might not. Sometimes recognizing that you’re on the right path happens more thanks to knowing (head) than by feeling (heart). You might not be comfortable with that, but since our feelings can very easily mislead us, God needs to get you to the point where you can walk straight even despite interior darkness and pain. Like… right now. His love is absolutely sure for you… it’s his will that you’re trying to discover. Have you talked to him — in a deep heart-to-heart way — about feeling his love?
I would suggest bringing this up with a priest in Confession or with someone who can help you out as a spiritual director. Lots of confusion like you’re feeling takes (1) prayer, (2) sacraments and (3) spiritual direction to sort things out.
Take it easy; let God work according to his pace and his rhythm.
May God bless you on your journey!
- Father Shane
Good News!
Good news, finally! There is still some backlog of questions to be answered, but the askbox is open again here.
But how? With help! Christiane Esser, who is consecrated in Regnum Christi and is very experienced in helping young women discern, has volunteered to help answer your questions. I think you’ll find a lot of wisdom in her answers… I certainly do!
So ask away… God bless you in your journey!
- Father Shane
Not fun! Here are a couple things I’ve posted on my other Tumblr about this sort of conflict: this and this. I hope it helps shed some light! I’ll keep you both in my prayers.
God bless you both!
- Father Shane
Yes, very often it is possible. Each religious community has different customs regarding how visitors can participate in their community’s life. Hospitality, in fact, is one of the basic characteristics of the first form of organized religious life in the West, the monasteries that follow Saint Benedict’s Rule.
If you say that you would like to visit without being a burden on them, and if you agree to follow certain basic rules as they do (notably silence, media use, and meal times), you will usually find wonderful openness on their part and you just might spend the best weekend of your life…
I wish you well with it! God bless you!
- Father Shane
