Vocation  Q&A

  1. The Q&A here is only on vocational topics; feel free to ask anything you want on Fr Shane's other Tumblr.
  2. If you ask with your username, we will always respond privately so that you get a personal private reply.
  3. If you ask anonymously, your answer will be published here for everyone to see.
  4. Use Facebook or vocationquestions [at] fathershane.com to talk more privately.
  5. Questions with username get answered faster than anon questions and Facebook, but email gets answered even faster.
  6. Giving your age and gender helps a lot for better advice.
  7. IF YOU'RE UNDER 18, child protection guidelines don't allow us to answer you privately on social networks. We'll respond publicly to your questions, doing our best to protect your privacy.

We’re Father Shane Johnson and Christiane Esser.

Father Shane is a Catholic priest with the Legionaries of Christ at St. Peter’s Parish in Yonkers, NY. Christiane, a consecrated woman in Regnum Christi, lives in Rhode Island and works at Mater Ecclesiae College.

Let us know how we can serve you!

Anonymous
Greetings! I am a 20 yr old Catholic woman and I'm just wondering if it is possible for a single person who is currently not in a relationship to actively discern for the vocation of marriage. Also, what concrete steps can one take to actively discern this vocation? Thank you in advance and I am looking forward to you response!

Greetings to you too! Let me begin answering you with a quote from Sacred Scripture: “All things are possible with God.” (Luke 1:37)  Just because you are not currently in a relationship does not mean that you cannot discern a vocation.  We are called constantly to discern God’s will in our lives. ‘Lord, what do You want of me?’  The path of discernment can be different for each person, because God is personal and loves each of us in a unique way. Many people first discern the general state in life (religious, married, single) and then discern the more specific (which Order, which spouse, etc.).  Other people may discover their vocation only after or when they find the specific religious order or specific soul-mate.

As far as your 2nd question: What steps can you take to discern if you are called to marriage?   The first step in any kind of discerning is PRAYER.  Here is a quote from one of my favorite bloggers (Fr. John Bartunek):

“…prayer keeps the soul in tune with the Holy Spirit, assuring that you are in the best possible disposition to receive God’s grace throughout the day (and in the other sacraments) and to fulfill whatever he asks of you. It is the main spiritual exercise for everyone who is sincerely seeking to discern and follow God’s will in their life.”

A second step is to read and study about the sacrament of matrimony. Find some good Catholic reading to help you understand better what marriage is. For a few basic concepts, a simple place to start (and easy to find) is the Catechism of the Catholic Church.  (You can find it online at the Official Vatican Website if you don’t have a hard copy.  vatican.va ) 

A third step and important one is getting to know yourself.  Who are you intellectually, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually?  What are your desires, preferences, motivations, ways of being and reacting, etc.?  What are your dreams, likes, dislikes, talents. etc.?  You can get to know yourself through personal examination, but it’s also important to get feedback from people who know you (family and friends).  Their views of who you are will also be very helpful.

Well, that’s at least a start for you!  There are many more things that could be said, but this is only a blog…not a book! :)

God bless you!    ~ Christiane





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